


One foot in front of the other.

by BornofFlame



Series: Healing is chaotic, but so are we. [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Human, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, College, Coping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Flashbacks, Fluff, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Logan plays the guitar, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Nightmares, Past Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Q is only in flashbacks, Roman is straight up not having a good time, Song writing, They're cute, They're working on trust, Trust Issues, Virgil sings, remy and roman are dating because I say so, same with remus
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-02
Updated: 2021-02-27
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:35:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26256514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BornofFlame/pseuds/BornofFlame
Summary: Somewhere in the world, there are six people that are completely unrelated to you, but somehow share the exact same DNA structure as you. Considered as carbon copies, having all six of your personas alive at once is a one in a 200,900,000,000 chance.By some horrible coincidence, a group of college roommates somehow have found their ‘other selves’, each one with a distinct personality and name.Roman is trying to trustLogan is balancing his major and his lifeVirgil is not sleeping wellRemy is loving his boyfriendPatton just wants everyone to be happySam is now the mom friendJess wants to be left out of itand Janus is grateful that his proposal has finally been accepted, gosh damnitChaos ensues.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Sleep | Remy Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders, Rosleep - Relationship
Series: Healing is chaotic, but so are we. [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1812676
Comments: 45
Kudos: 52





	1. So, what do you propose?

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome back to Healing is chaotic, but so are we!  
> This will be the final multi-chapter fic in the series.  
> I love ya'll for supporting me in these times 
> 
> enjoy!

_ October 15th, 4:45 pm EST _

DAD<3: JANUS PROPOSED TO ME!!!!!!

Princey: What else is new XD

DAD<3: NO, I SAID YESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wet blanket: congrats

DAD<3: OH SHOOT, I NEED TO ADD LOGAN BACK TO THE CHAT.

_ -DAD<3 added LB to chat.- _

_ -DAD<3 changed LB to Logan.- _

Logan: Salutations.

wet blanket: patton finally said yes

Logan: Ah. Congratulations to Janus on prevailing.

Janus: Thanks.

DAD<3: Well, I got to get back to class, so see you all later!!

wet blanket: bye...


	2. Katanas and ey/em/eir

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Logan struggles  
> Sam helps in her own chaotic way  
> Patton and Picani talk
> 
> Chaos ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> can u tell that I am genderfluid and Sam is not, so I added a one time character to make myself feel better? Anyway, meet Vanessa, she/her most of the time, ey/em/eir the other times. 
> 
> enjoy!

Logan was not the kind of person to abandon someone in a crisis. There  _ was _ a reason why he hadn’t left New York when everyone else did. 

However, when the crisis was a project partner that was crying in the library in a measly attempt to get him to do all the work, Logan was not as kind.

The girl had picked the library because she knew that making a scene there would have more of an impact. What she didn’t know though, was that Logan practically lived there and so the staff knew that whatever negative light he was painted in, it obviously wasn’t true.

So it was a major loss in the partner’s situation when Logan finally stormed away, heading to a back table to continue working alone.

Maybe he wasn’t someone to abandon another in a crisis. But he for sure was currently in one. Logan pulled out his phone and sent a quick text to Sam.

Logan: Are you busy?

Sam: Why?

Logan: Can you come scare off a project partner?

Sam: I don’t see tf why not. 

Sam: where r u?

Sam: Can i bring remy’s katana?

Logan: Library, and I don’t think they allow swords.

Sam: oh, they won’t know.

Sam: give me five minutes, gotta buy a pride flag real fast.

Logan: …

Logan: ?

About seven minutes later, Logan heard the yelling of one of the student librarians and a moment later a Sam with a pride flag tied around her shoulders came into sight, bradishing Remy’s katana. She made eye contact with Logan and winked, before storming up to the project partner.

“Hey bitch, time to go, we have a pride fight to go to.”

Logan couldn’t hear the other girl’s response, but by the look on her face, she was deeply confused as Sam leveled the blade at her. The girl got up from her seat and followed Sam out, looking like she was about to die.

Sam: u owe me a capri sun

Logan: I wouldn’t have it any other way.

…

About three hours later, he got another text.

Sam: So…. That girl, her name’s Vanessa and she apologizes for being a bitch, she was having a rough day. She said that she’ll email you her half of the presentation and talk to u tomorrow.

Sam: [photo attachment]

Sam: Anyway, have a gay day my pal.

Logan downloaded the photo, surprised to see that his project partner was in the photo, a genderfluid pride flag tied around her shoulders as she stood next to Sam. She looked like a completely different person and Logan felt more confused than anything.

Logan: Do I even wanna ask?

Sam: I have special healing powers. All aces do.

Logan: Of course. 

He put away his phone and sure enough, when he checked his email, the half of the project that Vanessa had chosen was completed, along with an extensive apology. At least she’d come around and had done her work. He couldn’t really find a reason to be upset now that the project was finished and so he packed up his books and left. There wasn’t really any reason for him to stay if she wasn’t coming back.

And besides, Virgil was waiting at home.

…

“Look! Isn’t it beautiful!!” Patton exclaimed as he showed the ring to Dr. Picani, who gave a hum of agreement as he pulled out a purple notebook, flipping to one of the last pages.

“So how’s it going over at the disaster condo?”  
“Pretty good! Well, actually.” Patton tapped his chin thoughtfully and Emile raised his pen, ready to break out the shorthand for one of the bubbly student’s rants.

“So Janus proposed and it was really cute, but like I mean, I feel kinda bad about it and I promised to wait, but I couldn’t anymore…”

“Well, are you happy?”

Patton’s gaze clouded over at the question and he nodded. “Of course I am, my family is all together and I’m engaged.”

“Then is there anything to really worry about?”

Patton opened his mouth to respond and nothing came out. Slowly, the realization brightened over his face and he smiled. 

“I guess that there isn’t.”


	3. And they keep on twiddlin their thumbs, and they keep on on, keep on on twiddlin thumbs.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Virgil has a flashback and Janus goes on a walk.  
> chaos ensues

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey.  
> it's almost the new year and I promised to pick this back up.  
> *jazz hands*  
> over the past few months, my girlfriend broke up with me for another girl, my sister developed straight savior complex and I almost got killed in a grocery store for wearing a pride shirt.  
> enjoy the chapter and it feels good to be back here, where it all started.  
> -ky

_ “How old are you?” _

_ “Sixteen.” _

_ “See, when I was your age, I was already jumping off fire escapes.” Q lazily flips a coin into the air and Virgil nods slowly, not wanting to upset his friend. Although Quinn hasn’t been really acting like a friend lately, his demands getting more and more dangerous.  _

_ “Do it V, and maybe when we get back home I won’t let my mom at you.” _

_ “But...” _

_ “Come on!” _

_ Virgil jumped. _

_ … _

Virgil threw his notebook. Nothing was working, he felt too clogged up with memories and he couldn’t get out of the fucking house without his stupid, stupid crutches.

He struggled out of his chair and grabbed the things, clumsily making his way downstairs to see that it was empty.

That made sense, everyone had their own lives to get to. They were healing and moving forward.

And he was still stuck in the past.

Virgil got a saucepan out once he reached the kitchen, filling it with water and setting it on the stove.

Gosh, he wanted an actual cup of tea so badly. After turning said stove on, he pulled out Logan’s coffee mug and stole a tea sachet from Roman’s collection to complete his borrowing as he swung one of the crutches as he watched the water come to a boil slowly.

He almost dropped the water, but ten minutes later, he was sitting at the table, stirring his tea.

It was quiet. Peaceful almost.

It felt fake. 

…

Janus came home to find Virgil staring blankly at the cold drink in front of him.

“Virgil?”

He walked carefully to sit down across from his roommate. “Virgil? Everything good?”  
“No.”

“Do you want help with something?”  
“No! I want to be back to normal, whatever the fuck that was.” Virgil snapped, pushing his drink forward and slamming his forehead onto the table. “Goddamnit, I’m going to have a worse headache now.” He cursed out as his roommate watched.

“Do you remember how you got down here?”  
“Janus, I can barely remember what I was doing five minutes ago, you really want me to go that far back?”  
Virgil looked up at him and squinted. “Are you holding a hand up?”

“No.” Janus said.

“Oh. Whelp, there goes my vision again.”

Janus sighed softly and stretched a hand across the table. “Wanna go on a walk?”  
“Yes.”

They got up and Janus held open the door for Virgil as they made their way into the sun.

“It’s hot out.”

Janus nodded as the sounds of crutches and a cane broke the silence between them. 

“Emile says I need to go to another therapist. Which really isn’t a problem, since he really only deals with couples and whatnot I and I should probably see someone for severe trauma, not to mention that Roman gets to see someone because of survivors guilt, even though I’m not dead, and I’m rambling now, can we stop moving for a moment?”

Janus paused as Virgil stopped talking, clenching his eyes shut and taking a breath.

“I just want to run. I’ve done it before…”

“I know Virgil.”

Virgil looked at him. “We should go back. I don't want to leave here yet and I feel like if I spend another minute out here, I'll bolt.”

“Okay.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> kudos and comments are nice, but not needed. Have a wonderful new year, and type jumanji if you'll yell it the 31st.


	4. AND I'M BACK BITCHES

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Roman and Remy are on the mend:)  
> Everyone also has a bit of a fear of their loved ones getting snatched, which is honestly totally valid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *shakes jar*   
> Want some content kiddos?

Roman swung his backpack on and gave Remy a quick kiss. “Thanks for the help studying."

“Course Babes. You sure you don’t want me to walk you home?”

Roman thought it over and then nodded. “Pat’s meeting me halfway, I’ll be good.”

Remy grinned. “Okay, see you tomorrow for couples therapy.”

“Mm, ‘Kay, stay safe.” Roman said as Remy opened the door to his apartment and let him out.

“You know it.” Roman winked and started down the stairs, smiling to himself as he exited the complex and started down the street.

It wasn’t that long of a walk, but it was nice either way and when he caught sight of Patton waiting under the streetlight, he started to move faster.

None of them really liked going out without another person. And after the first few panic attacks from just having that fear of abduction, they all agreed in having at least some form of the buddy system.

You know, regular roommate shit. Roman got to Patton, gave him a quick hug and then they were off, walking slowly.

“So I talked to Janus today about wedding plans and we were thinking January 5th for the reception-- it’s gonna be a small one, just our families and you guys.” Patton smiled as he looked up at the sky. “What do you think?”

“Anyday works for me, you know that you don’t have to ask me stuff Patton.” Roman kicked a bottle cap, keeping it in front of him by a few steps before inevitably having to kick it forward again.

“Cool. I’m glad.”

“Yeah. Do you think that you could invite Thomas? You know, if he wants to be near our disaster of a condo.”

Roman laughed. “I don’t think it’d hurt to send him a quick text or call.” He kicked the bottle cap again. “He’s got a boyfriend now, their photos together are adorable.”

“Awww.”

…

Logan didn’t look up from his textbook when his door opened and Virgil came crutching in, setting them at the desk and taking a few halting steps to the bed before sitting down. He rested for a moment before shuffling back so he could be sitting next to Logan better.

“Hey.”

Logan offered a hand for Virgil to take. “Hello.”

Virgil took it and leaned against him slightly so they could both look at the textbook. “I found a new therapist. Emile recommended her for… for abuse recovery.”

“I’m glad that you reached out to him for advice.” Logan turned his head just enough so he could read the expression on his boyfriend’s face. “Do you want me to come to the first meeting?”

“Yeah. It’s Saturday.”

“I have a night class that starts at eight, but other than that, I can do it.”

“Thank you.” Virgil whispered and Logan smiled softly, squeezing Virgil’s hand gently. 

“Anytime.” He responded as he turned the page, cringing at the scribbling that the previous owner must have left. Sure, he could afford new textbooks, but it wasn’t really about that for him.

This particular professor had required about ten books for the class, all of them by her and Logan was sick of scams like this, so he wasn’t about to have her get more money than necessary from him. There was actually a few kids in that same class who were passing the books between them in some sort of a fuck you library.

Logan found it quite charming. The professor herself should really have known what she was dealing with. It was a lot harder to scam a bunch of stats majors than it looked.

A small huff of air landed on his neck and Virgil slumped more to the side, clearly asleep. Logan held back a small laugh and moved his textbook to the side so he could shift Virgil into his embrace. It wasn’t ideal to have him sleeping straight up, but it was better than nothing. Especially when flashbacks and nightmares came knocking. 

Logan leaned back against the wall and closed his eyes.

A quick rest didn’t sound too bad right now. The reading wasn’t due for another three days either way.

…

Janus opened the door to Logan’s room to make sure the nerd was actually still alive, before pausing in his tracks.

_ Oh, that was too soft. _ His thoughts came to a raging halt and he sucked in a breath at the sheer adorableness.

Logan and Virgil were both sound asleep, Virgil’s head tucked under Logan’s chin and the nerd’s arms securely wrapped around him. Logan’s glasses had drooped down his nose in a very unprofessional way, and Janus knew that if he’d been awake, he would have pushed them back by now. Alas, he was left looking like a librarian in her fifties.

Janus pulled out his phone with his free hand and snapped a picture of the sleeping couple before quietly turning off the light and shutting the door with a small click.

He could convince him to eat in the morning. Janus made his way down the stairs and to the couch to wait for Patton and Roman to come back.

So what, maybe he got worried when someone was gone for longer than they said they’d be.

Maybe it was a rollover from last spring, maybe it was because Roman left him in a stairwell to play hero, but he didn’t care.

It was better to wait up for them to come home late than it was to have blind faith and go to bed, only to wake up to him not being home.

The door opened.

Janus felt the tension leave him as Roman breezed past the living area without a hi and Patton came to sit next to him after locking the door and getting his shoes off.

“You good?” Patton asked as he gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. Janus looped his arm around him and pulled him close. 

“Better that you’re back.”

“Aww. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Janus said back softly as Patton cuddled closer to his embrace.

“I have a few ideas for the reception- want to see them?”

“Let me guess, you have a full Pinterest board devoted to it.” Janus teased and Patton laughed as he pulled out his phone, unlocking it.

“Mayyybe.”

“Sounds perfect.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey...  
> it's been a bit, but I actually wrote pretty far ahead. See you next Friday!
> 
> love ya'll (hi to hammiboi, pineapplehedgehog and my other regulars. thanks for sticking with me for so long.)


	5. timeskip time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so, we just skipped over october, november and december because I'm so sick of writing christmas and halloweens and thanksgivings  
> like, cmon, you know how it gets.  
> and like, this is one of the last chapters of some fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *says see you next friday*  
> -disappears 4 2 weeks-  
> whoops

They say that life moves fast when you’re in college.

Logan looked down at his phone for a moment before setting it on his desk faceup.

It was already January. 

Logan pulled out his guitar and absentmindedly started to tune it. Leaving it in its case for four and a half months really did a number on it. However, he had it tuned within five minutes and was quietly playing when Roman got back an hour later.

…

_ -What happened during that hour that Logan was blissfully unaware- _

RoRo: Logan?

RoRo: Lo.

RoRo: Goddamnit, i was hopin you could pick me up, I’m stranded at work and Rem doesn’t get off work for three hours.

RoRo: LOGAN!!

RoRo: Ight, ur probs dead, ill let virgil no

…

They_see_me_Roman: yo, i think that lo’s ded or sleepin

Emo: ok

They_see_me_Roman: that was a surprising lack of caring

Emo: oh no, im appalled. 

They_see_me_Roman: Sorry. U excited for the wedding tomorrow?

Emo: no weddings are outdated.

Emo: and i wanted to have time to pack

They_see_me_Roman: pack? For what?

Emo: personal trip.

They_see_me_Roman: We litera;;y just had a holiday break

Emo: it’s cheaper to travel right after a holiday. and i have a few things that haven’t arrived yet.

They_see_me_Roman: does lo know?

Emo: i haven’t told him yet

Emo: i uh, 

Emo: I wasn’t gonna tell anyone tbh

They_see_me_Roman: i won’t spill.

Emo: thanks i guess.

Emo: y aren’t u in work?

They_see_me_Roman: Oh, I’m walking home

Emo: rip

Emo: i could get someone to pick you

They_see_me_Roman: really!!! Thanks!

…

Virgil: hey can you go get roman

traumaman: sure virgil, where is he?

Virgil: *Send Location*

traumaman: thank you!

traumaman: Also, I’m not your therapist anymore, do I have to use the handle you gave me?

_ Virgil changed traumaman to Dad2 _

Dad2: Emile would have been fine…

Virgil: nah

_ Dad2 changed Virgil to Son _

Dad2: it’s a two way street;) 

Son: ur still a better parent that mine and you’re like three years older than me

Dad2: :(

…

It's_Picani!: Remy, can you be more responsible with your boyfriend?

Sokka_withA_Latte: yea. Sorry.

It’s_Picani!: XD

…

Patman: are you okay?!?!?

Roman: Ye, dr picani picked me up. Im just grateful that remy and i don’t see him for couples

Roman: that’d make this more awkward than it has to be

Patman: oh! I picked up the suits earlier today!

Patman: well, at least me and Janus’

Roman: nice!

…

Sam: Logan?

Sam: dude, answer ur phone, it’s been three hours

Sam: Lo?   
Sam: Goddamnit, im calling you.

-missed call-

-missed call-

Sam: fuck it, im coming over and painting your nails. Virgil was gonna retouch his purple anyway, and I still have blue if you wanna do streaks again

Sam: Also i have pink

Sam: the last bit was abt hair dye fyi

Logan: Hello Sam. 

Logan: I apologize for missing your calls. I’ve been busy.

Sam: Oh good, ur alive

Logan: *you’re

Sam: you can’t see it, but I'm flipping you off affectionately.

Logan: Okay.

Sam: love you nerd, ill be right over.

Logan: okay.

…

Sma: Ro, what’s up with Lo? 

RomeFellinADay: Idk. 

RomeFellinADay: or it might just be because he and virgil are not as stable as they used to be

Sma: It's that bad?

RomeFellinADay: yeah…

RomeFellinADay: I think that Virge averages at like.. An hour of sleep a night at most. Not to mention the whole physical therapy aspect wearing him down.

Sma: oof. Two comas will do that to ya

RomeFellinADay: hey, ur coming over, right?

Sma: ya

RomeFellinADay: Can you dye my hair?

Sma: sure:)

Sma: what brought this on?

RomeFellinADay: idk, i wanna look less like my twin

Sma: valid.

Sma: what color?

RomeFellinADay: surprise me.

…

Roman tilted his head back over the kitchen sink as Sam pulled the foil off and started to rinse out the dye with ice cold water.

Said Sam was kneeling on the counter while she did it and Roman probably thought that they looked like an odd pair, but he wasn’t one to complain. Free hair dye was worth the odd positioning.

“Don’t open your eyes.” Sam warned and then there was water splashing across his face.

“We probably should’ve asked Patton if it was okay to dye our hair right before his wedding.” Roman realized.

“He actually asked me to make sure that my pink was updated, that Jess’ green was good and I told him that I’d make sure Virge’s purple was good.” Sam ran a hand through Roman’s hair and squinted. “He’s okay with it.”

“We’re gonna look like a fucking anime class.” Roman went to open his eyes, but another burst of water hit him in the face as Sam cursed.

“Sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“I’m almost done, but I want you to keep your eyes closed while I blowdry it.” Sam did one last rinse and patted Roman’s head. “You can stand up normally now, I’ll be right back.”

“Please don’t tell me that you’re blow drying my hair here.”

Sam came back with the blow dryer and Roman resigned himself to her climbing back on the counter to help him dry his hair.

“Done, keep your eyes closed.” Sam got off the counter and pulled out her phone, moving so that she was standing next to Roman.

“Okay, when I say open, do it and smile.”

Roman complied, Sam got a photo of his shocked face and before he could react to anything else, she’d sent it off to Remy.

“Sam!”

“What?” Sam innocently blinked up at him and Roman sighed, facepalming.

“Nevermind. Does it look good?”

“Course it does, I did it. But you can go check in the bathroom mirror if you want.” Sam left the kitchen and went to go flop on the beanbag chair as Roman wandered to the bathroom and flicked on the light.

Oh, it did look nice. Roman ran a hand through the red and orange, smiling at the change from the normal brown.

His phone buzzed.

Remy: i saw the pic sam sent

Remy: :0

Remy: looking snazzy B)

Roman: thx

Roman looked up from his phone and grinned at his reflection. It did look great.


	6. How about a wedding to spice things up?  Or it's the reception I guess, but shut up, it's content.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> did someone say wedding?
> 
> I did
> 
> there, get married you dorks, after being engaged for like five months, even though Janus has been proposing for over a year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look, i grew up mormon, engagements lasted like a month because everyone was so desperate to get laid. I don't know how long engagements are supposed to last and patton and janus both aren’t doing a honeymoon because class starts up in like a day and it's their last semester.  
> They're going to Bergamo and the Cinque Terre in the summer though for two weeks tho.
> 
> Also, I had an OC lined up to be Thomas' date, because this chapter has been written since like, way before FWSA was a thing and let me tell you, when I saw Nico, I came back and rewrote this to match him better than the OC.

Thomas adjusted his tie nervously as he and his date walked up to the pavilion that had the wedding reception.

“Hey, it’ll be fine.”

“I know, I just haven’t seen them all in literally three years.” The pair made it to the pavilion and Thomas nearly froze when Patton saw him, waving excitedly for them to come over.

“Thomas! You made it!” Patton said as he walked up and gave him a hug. “I was worried that we sent yours to the wrong address!”

Thomas pulled back from the hug. “Nah, we got it. How has it been?”

He could have sworn that Patton’s gaze flickered over to where a purple and navy couple were sitting, but his response was bright and cheery.

“It’s been going great. Janus is amazing, well, I mean I did marry him and all…” Patton trailed off and he looked at Thomas’ date. “Who’s this?”

“I’m Nico.” Nico stuck out a hand for Patton to shake. “Nice to meet you.”

“It’s great to meet you as well. How did you two meet?”

Thomas blushed and looked down. “At a food court.”

“Aw, that’s sweet. Well, there’s food over there and you can walk around and meet anyone else you want to and I’m sure that Janus and I will come talk to both of you later, okay?” Patton gave him one last hug before turning and making his way back to his husband. Nico tilted his head at Thomas.

“You look kinda like him.”

“Yeah, we all used to look like twins. It was creepy.” Thomas slipped his hand into Nico’s. “Want to meet Roman next? He’s the one I was telling you about earlier.”

“Of course.”

…

Roman wasn’t really expecting this reception to be that big of a deal. For one, Patton’s family was small and then for two, only Janus’ grandparents could make it out. Then a few small friends that both had, the disaster condo and Emile. A pretty small event, but then again, Janus had wanted it that way.

He was not expecting to see Thomas, but as the man approached, Roman set down his drink and folded him into a hug.

“Man, it’s been ages.” Roman held Thomas at arms length and grinned. “I keep following your vines dude, they’re hilarious.”

“Thanks. I missed you.”

“I think I can speak for everyone when we say that we missed you too.” Roman grinned and hugged him again. “How’s that boyfriend you were texting me about?”

Thomas moved and Roman squealed, immediately gathering Nico in a hug. “Ahhh, he’s even shorter than you said!”

Thomas blushed and Nico laughed casually as Roman let go. “I don’t get that often. It’s nice to meet you Roman.”

“And to you as well Mr. Flores! I was Thomas’ best friend in the condo.”

“He wasn’t, everyone knows that it was Virgil.” Thomas teased back as Roman sputtered and tried to claim that he still was anyway.

“You refused to get drunk with me.” Thomas finally pointed out and Roman threw his hands up, but he was laughing anyway.

When the three of them were done talking, Roman pulled him into a final hug and pressed his face next to Thomas’ ear.

“Virgil’s… different now. It’s been great to see you.” He whispered and Thomas nodded. Roman pulled away, shook Nico’s hand and then turned to walk to Remy. The man laughed when his boyfriend came up to him and the pair watched as Remy pulled Roman into a waltz position, the two of them dancing.

“He was something else.” Nico noted calmly. Thomas nodded.

“Theater major.”

“It makes sense now.” Nico grinned and took Thomas’ hand. “So, who’s Virgil?”   
…

Said Virgil and Logan were sitting on the steps that led up to the pavilion and neither noticed as Nico and Thomas walked up, both in a deep conversation until Logan looked up.

"Salutations Thomas.”

Virgil turned a bit and a grin spread across his face when he realized who it was. “Dude, it’s been a hot second.”

They both stood, Virgil with a bit of difficulty and Thomas nodded.

“I keep getting that from all of you.”

“Whoops.” Virgil muttered. “Sorry I haven’t really texted you recently. Life’s been pretty shitty.”

“Two comas, I heard.”

From next to Thomas, Nico muttered  _ “two comas?” _ Thomas gave a slight nod before continuing with the conversation, a quiet promise to explain it all later.

“How’s the Vine career going?” Virgil asked after a few minutes of talking.

“Pretty good actually. I also got a few songs out.”

“Nice.”

“Yeah, although there’s this new app out that makes it so you can make longer videos- tiktak or something. A few people have asked if I’ll go over and create content there, but I don’t see it happening soon.”

“That’s really cool.”

“Thanks!”

…

Sam watched as the couples danced the last dance together, everyone with someone.

Except her. She was okay with it though, and it made it so she could get a few photos of the reception that she knew the photographer wouldn’t get.

Patton and Janus looked so happy, blue and yellow moving in a sophisticated waltz, both lost in their love for the other.

Remy and Roman were also dancing, albeit a bit more haltingly, but Roman said something and Remy threw his head back in a laugh, so they were fine.

Virgil and Logan weren’t dancing on the floor, but they were sitting at the table that was next to it, holding hands, perfectly content.

But the pair that she knew the least seemed to be the most in sync, Thomas and Nico weren’t really dancing, just holding each other close and swaying back and forth in time with the beat.

God, she loved her found family. Sam took one last picture and then got up, slipping out and away from the reception.

After all, she had someone waiting back at her apartment with open arms and a comforting movie ready to watch.

She did hope that the Faux-Hart couple would like her wedding gift.

...

By the time all the rounds had been made and all the catching up had been done, Thomas was ready to rip off his tie and collapse on a bed and sleep. However, it was late so he and Nico decided to rent a motel room for the night and head home in the morning.

“Thomas?” Nico asked once they were settled in the room.

“Hmmm?”

“Are your friends okay? Like, the general mood I got from them was worrying. It looks like you dodged a massive bullet with moving home.”

Thomas rolled to his back and stared up at the ceiling. “They’ll be okay.”

_ They always are. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and this is it
> 
> it's the last happy chapter  
> it's all downhill now


	7. Guess this is goodbye...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you know when I said angst...
> 
> ...ha... *starts sobbing*

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry.

Virgil stared down at the note in his hand, the neatly made bed with the last bit of the money needed for his part in the condo’s rent- enough to pay until May, and he sighed quietly to the dark room.

This was it, he was leaving…

Leaving, moving on, it didn’t make sense to stay when you weren’t going back to the next semester, and he doubted that in person college would ever really be an option for him again.

He set the note on the pillow and looked up. Three long years here. He’s pretty sure that’s the longest he’s ever stayed somewhere. Virgil grabbed his backpack from the empty desk and slipped it on before limping a bit forward and snagging his crutches from beside the desk.

No one really knew what he was doing, well, Remy had helped him this morning with moving his two packing boxes and one duffle bag into a beater car that he’d gotten for less than a thousand, and Roman knew that he was heading for a spontaneous trip…

But he’d made Roman think he was coming back and Remy knew better than to ask questions or assume. Virgil spared one last look around the room before crutching out and shutting the door softly behind him.

Down the stairs was easy, leaving his key to the condo on the kitchen counter, where it’d be seen in the morning, probably by an early up Janus.

Then he walked out the door, unaware that there was someone watching from the window upstairs.

…

Logan woke up to Janus shaking him, an unreadable look on his face.

“Janus?” Logan sat up and looked at his phone. “It’s one am, shouldn’t you be with Patton or something? You got married less than a week ago.”

“Virgil’s leaving.”

Logan paused and blinked. “Pardon?”  
“I heard him get up and I think he went outside.” Janus passed him his glasses and Logan got up to follow him downstairs. He stopped right before they reached the door, turning back.

“I’ll wait in here for you.” Janus gave him a hug and tilted his head to Logan’s ear. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”

Logan stepped outside in time to see Virgil throwing a backpack bag into the passenger seat of a shitty car that looked like it was made more out of rust than the actual car.

“Love?”

Virgil jolted and turned, turning around to face him. “Lo.”

“What’s going on?”

Virgil paused, sighed and shut the door. He crutched over to Logan and gently moved a hand to his boyfriend’s face. “I’m sorry, but I can’t be here any longer.”

“Oh. You’re running.”

Virgil looked down. “I’m sorry.”

Logan blinked and looked at the car, then back at Virgil. “It’s okay, you can go.”

His love looked back up in confusion and Logan gently grabbed his hand. “You told me that you needed to move on and if this is how, I understand.”

Virgil nodded numbly. “Please move on too Lo. I’m not sure if we’ll ever see each other again.”

Oh.

 _Oh._ Logan bit back a few tears and nodded slowly. “I love you Virgil.” He hugged him and Virgil hugged back, albeit a bit shaky and when they pulled away, Virgil pressed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

“I won’t forget you.”

And with that, Logan watched as he made his way to the car, got in and started it. They made eye contact one last time and Virgil gave a half wave, half salute, before driving off.

Leaving Logan standing alone in front of a shitty college condo at midnight. He waited until he couldn’t hear the sound of a car anymore before turning and heading back inside.

Janus, predictably, was on the couch. Logan sat down woodenly next to him.

“So, he’s gone?”

Logan went to nod and broke down in tears instead. Janus gathered him up into his arms and held the stat major close as he sobbed, one hand rubbing comforting circles into his back.

“I’m so sorry.”

“I… I thought that it was getting better… That we’d be okay. He even said that he’d marry me at your reception…” Logan wiped at his eyes and looked up at Janus. “Was I not enough?”

“Oh darling..” Janus murmured. “I hardly doubt that you had the capability to do anything with Virgil’s hurt.”

Logan let out another shaking breath. “But, he…”

Janus shifted. “Virgil’s happiness is not your obligation.”

Logan paused. Janus let out a quiet sigh before continuing. “Patton and I would have been engaged a lot sooner you know. I was going to propose in New York, right in Times Square. Then, of course that didn’t happen. Then we kept waiting, said we’d wait for when we were all ready, all of us.”

Logan looked at Janus, who seemed lost in thought.

“And yet, here I am, married. And none of you guys were truly ready for it. But Patton and I agreed that maybe it isn’t our job to make sure that you guys are always happy. We deserve our own lives too.”

Janus looked down at Logan and wiped away one of his tears. “And maybe you just need some Logan time. Go hang out with Sam tomorrow, just have a you day.”

“Okay.”

“That’s it, self care. And also you need to drink some water and go sleep.”

“Is that you just saying that you want to get back to Patton?” Logan asked wryly as he got out of his position of crying onto Janus’ chest.

“Perhaps, but you do need some water and sleep.”

“Thanks dad.”

“Patton’s the dad, he’d kill me if he heard you said that.” Janus grinned and got off the couch. “See you in the morning.”

He made his way to the stairs, paused and looked at Logan. “You know that everyone here loves you?”  
“Yeah.”

“Good. Sleep well nerd.”

…

The next morning, Logan knocked on Sam's apartment door with quite a bit of nervousness.

The door swung open to reveal a person in pajama pants and a binder, their short hair a mess as they looked Logan up and down.

“You’re that one crackhead that’s study buddies with my girlfriend. Lawrence right?”

“Logan actually. I came to apologize to Sam.”

“I mean, if you wanna come in, that’s great, let me go get her and also I should probably put a shirt on.”

They let Logan in and he went and sat on the couch as the person disappeared down the hall. A few minutes later, they were back and wandering into the kitchen.  
“So Sam and you?”

“Partners. Long story, it’s her sister’s fault. I’m Ness by the way. Ey/em pronouns.” Ey looked at Logan. “You have a boyfriend, Vincent right?”

“Ah, no, we broke up.”

“My apologies.” Ness poured something into two mugs and came over to the couch, offering one to Logan as ey sat. “We had a project together ages ago. Back at the beginning of last semester.”

Logan thought back as he took a drink from his mug. “Monopoly and distribution of wealth among Amazon workers. I recall.”

Sam came in, dressed in one of those ‘I killed my husband and now I’m in mourning robes’, waved at Logan and walked over, making herself comfortable in Ness’ lap.

“So what brings you here this early in the morning?”

“Virgil left.”

“Left? As in gone, gone?”

Logan nodded and set down his drink before he could start crying again. “I.. I let him after all, he’s an adult with his own choices.”

Sam reached out a hand for Logan to take. “Hey nerd, it happens to the best of us.”

Ness nodded stoically from eir spot. “It sucks shit, but hey, at least you get to have an excuse to go destroy stuff.”

“Ma fraise, we do that for date nights anyway. Logan, you came over to hang out, so give me five minutes to shower and we can go on an adventure or something.” Sam got up and let go of his hand. “Be right back.”

Five minutes later, Ness and Sam were hugging and Logan was standing awkwardly outside the door.

Sam finished her hug, gave em a quick peck on the cheek and then she was closing the door and they were off.

They were halfway down the first set of stairs when Logan spoke up.

“I never realized that you had a partner.”

“Didn’t really come up. And ey asked to not go to the wedding.” Sam adjusted her jacket and looked at Logan. “Are you okay?”

“Not particularly, but I do believe that spending the day with you will help.”

“Cool. Wanna get some boba and then go egg alligators? This chick from Cali opened a place near campus.”

“Sure.”

….

_Lo, Roman, Pat, Rems, Janus, Sam & Jess, _

_Sorry._

_Uh, I left you rent for the next few months. Please don’t try to contact me, I need to think. Think about a lot I guess. Maybe it was Q, maybe it was just me, but I can’t be here any longer, even though it breaks me to go. You guys are the first family I’ve had in a long while, and by far the most loving. But I can’t, I’m not strong enough to keep seeing the hurt that my life is bringing upon you. Have a good last semester, maybe you’ll be able to graduate without any more disasters. Maybe, knowing between Remy and Sam, you guys might have some more mishaps, but the good ones, the ones that make you look back and think ‘wow, this should be in a shitty teen novel about college.’ not ‘wow, I really wish I wasn’t alive right now.’ Good mishaps._

_Roman, I don’t really know what to tell you here, but keep working on your sewing, it’s still shit and I won’t be around to help you anymore. Keep singing those stupid disney songs in the mornings. I know I called them unbearable, but you did okay._

_Remy, bye. Thanks for the coffee that one time, and also you should mix protein powder with a monster energy drink. It’s a trip._

_Patton, love you and your chili slaps. I hope you like married life:)_

_Janus, take care of yourself. Stop trying to take care of everyone and psychoanalyzing everything tends to lead to burnout. Take a step back._

_Sam, take care of Lo. Thanks._

_Jess, I’m glad we met in the history class that I definitely was not supposed to be in. You’re pretty funny._

_Logan, I, I uh, left you a letter in the third drawer in your dresser, under the folder with all your receipts. I figured that when you all found this, everything I wanted to say to you wouldn’t be the best thing to read with the others._

_Love you all, and I’m-_

_I’m_ _so_ _sorry._

_-Virge_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jokes on you, I'm actually not that sorry. angst gremlin here to ruin you since 2020

**Author's Note:**

> kudos?  
> comments?
> 
> and I have a discord [here!](https://discord.gg/QDCWqVh)


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